Being a Good Guest- Part 1

Being a good guest doesn't seem like something that would be too challenging would it? I mean, you show up, drink a little, eat a little, don't try to impregnate the house pet, chat a little and then leave. Right? Right. But things have changed since the first caveman hosted a soiree in his cave all those years ago.

With things like Facebook and texting, the idea of an invitation has changed dramatically. We are a more casual society and it seems easier to decline. Facebook even gives us the possibility for a "maybe" RSVP. There is nothing wrong with declining an invite but there are certain etiquette rules that should apply. Try and reply in a timely fashion. A host needs to know how many people are attending. If you have ever hosted an event, you know how much work goes into it- not just emotionally but financially, as well. If you can't make a party, write a quick note to the host to explain why you can't make it. It's a nice courtesy that takes just a minute. Also, if you have set your attendance to a "maybe" make up your mind at the latest 72 hours before the event. Weddings are a whole different ballgame but that will be another post.

OK, so now you have accepted the invitation. You've chosen your outfit, you've put on deoderant and you're ready to go. What are you bringing with you? You should always bring something to drink regardless if the invitation says BYOB or not. It's a nice gesture. Flowers are ok too but not neccessary. Chocolates are good too but try and think about your host too. If your host is diabetic, stay away from sweets. Your host is Mormon, wine might not be the best choice. Jewish host? Leave the bacon at home. I once read an ad where a celebrity endorsed bringing scented candles as a hosting gift. I think this is NOT a good gift. I love scented candles but I am selective in scents. Also, many people have allergies to anything scented so don't. Just don't. Silly. Silly.

You've arrived at the party on time or 15 minutes after it has started. Do not show up early. This is assholey. Unless the host has said "Hey you, want to come a little bit earlier so we can start drinking?" then don't show up early. Don't be too late either. If the party is a party and not a sit down dinner you can be a little bit later. 30-45 minutes later should be the maximum. If you are going to be later, text the host and let them know. Small dinner party? Be on time! Maybe it's the German in me but I have a really hard time with perpetually late people. It's flakey and it is disrespectful. If you know that you are usually late, head out earlier. It's not rocket science.. Argh. Now I'm annoyed. Deep breaths.. deep.

OK, you're on time and you've brought a small hosting gift. Grab a drink and check out the surroundings. Don't snoop. We once had a guest go running to our bedroom when we had declared it off limits. He came back and announced that he had been in there and it was quite a mess. I felt like knifing him. I didn't. I should have. Anywho. Make the rounds and introduce yourself. You're a big kid now, you can do it. As host, If I have time, I will try and make introductions.

The party has started and you're eating the snacks or waiting for the food to be brought out. If you took my advice before, you have already given the host your present. You should not have brought a dish unless you have been asked to. Do not bring food that requires any kitchen or oven space unless you have been asked to. DON'T! The host has most likely planned what will be served and needs the oven/counter space (Alix, the taco dip is welcome. I've allotted oven space for it!). If you must, bring cookies or things that can be handheld and don't require additional cutlery or plates. But be aware that it is up to the host to serve it. Don't trump their party. Host your own.

Part 2 will be coming up soon..