Bridesmaid Speeches- what you should know

In August I got (I demanded) to make a speech at my friend Lucy's wedding. It was well received from what I heard after.. There was laughter. No tears. And we're still friends. I don't mind public speaking and it is all thank you to my 5th grade teacher. She was a scary Croatian Canadian and boy was she pretty amazing. She made us write speeches and give them in front of large groups of people. Horrific back then, awesome now. I am not a speech specialist but there are some guidelines that one should follow when giving a bridesmaid speech.. This does not apply to the father of the bride speeches- they're allowed to do and say what they want..

Bridesmaid Speech Guidelines:

1) Margaret the bride was a skank in college? Don't bring that up.. Sentences should not include; "When the fleet showed up.." or "Daddy issues...". or if Margaret used to be overweight, don't bring that up ie. "after you lost all that weight, you finally met a man! Yaaay, you!" If you're close enough to be chosen to be bridesmaid, you should know not to bring up an uncomfortable past..

2) Keep it short. 2-3 minutes top. Short and sweet and you're number one. This is applicable to best man speeches as well..

3) If you don't like the groom, don't say it. Hard to write something positive about him? Just talk about her.. that's fine too. Try not to say "If you hurt her, I'll hurt you." If you feel the need to threaten him, do it on your own time...

4) Choose your underlying theme. Go for sentimental, go for funny.. But don't try too hard to make it a cry fest. Remember the scene from Friends where Monica gets to make her parents' anniversary speech and she trys to make them cry and it is a disaster? Yeah, don't try too hard. Also, funny anecdotes are great but don't make fun of the bride. Inside jokes are not such a great idea either..

5) And finally, props are fun too. Be it old pictures or a ticket stub from their first date, they add a little variety to the run of the mill speech.

Of course there are so many guidelines for speeches on the internet so go and Google. But the above 5 points are a good starting point, in my opinion. My superior opinion..

And in keeping with the theme of the post, I would like to share the props I used in my recent speech. A big thank you to Jörg for his Photoshop skills. I printed them out in poster size and my friend Alix held them up for me.. Gracias.

Poster 1- her name is Lucy, it seemed applicable.

Poster 2- this showed their courtship.. yeah

Poster 3- I was lucky enough for same day photo development..

So good luck at your next speech giving event and remember not to wear a see through dress and shave your pits..