A Passion for Fashion

I haven't written about fashion for a while. The biggest reason is that all my pants have elastic bands now. But boy do I love my pashminas. And while I can't dress to impress I can still judge, oh how I can judge. I've been watching a lot of Fashion TV and I'm saddened to see that harem pants are still on the radar for 2011 Spring/Summer. Ugh. I cannot say enough about my dislike of harem pants but now with my condition, perhaps these might prove useful in that they have enough room to catch my spawn should I give birth wearing these. That is all.

But thanks to Alix for my Haarper's Bazaar subscription or dare I say prescription, I can still flick through the ads and ooh and aah over the fall fashion. Sometimes I cringe but mostly I smile. Here are some of my thoughts about the ads in the HB Fall Fashion Issue.

I could be biased but I an enamored that Jennifer Aniston is featured doing an homage to Babs. I heart me some Babs. She's the poster girl for Jewish noses and when I first saw Funny Girl at age 13 I was smitten.

Dior- the ad features a model in thigh high socks, black leather jacket with flared arms (wait, what?), and a pink dress in Laura Ashley like print I might have owned when I was 7. And is probably the same size. The model is holidng a large brown leather purse with the signature CD in metal integrated into the handle and ankle high boots. I'm digging the boots and purse but the rest is a little off putting. Is she in a stable? Or an old Western bank. I'm confused.. And I swear I had that dress.

Gucci- It's two pages too, and on the right we see a model in a beautifully tailored camel jacket and holding a crocodile skin purse that reminds me of my grandmother. It's small and I don't really like it. The model is giving the "Bring it" look and seems blissfully unaware as to what is happening on the left. What is that on the left?! Well gosh, it's Ken in suede leggings (with ankle cuffs?), a turtleneck and a royal blue blazer. He's here to save the day! Please please don't bend over. Next!

Dolce and Gabbana- Hey you guys! You guys are pretty cool. This ad features Madonna. She's been doing a feature for a while where she looks like a post war Italian wife. There's one where she is in the kitchen and one where she is hanging up laundry. This one she's on a bed, playing with the baby. It might be the angle but this baby looks like he's planning to kill her in her sleep. Cute kid. Madonna is on her back, wearing a leopard print top, a cardigan and a tweed pencil skirt. The ad's in black and white so I can't guess the colours but I'm assumming the leopard print is not pink. Sadly I can only see a snippet of her shoes that based on the heel, are to.die.for. Ankle strap and stiff black lace in black? Yes please! Oh D & G, thank you for not bringing in the Gucci Ken.

Chanel- My favourite. Karl Lagerfeld scares me. I have a feeling he would spit on me if he saw what I was wearing now but I adore his art. This ad here (there are a couple), features a model who kinda looks like Alexa Chung, walking an empty street wearing fur. I think it is a knee high coat with bushy shoulders and furry skirt and heavy wool body. It's nouveau Dr. Zwivago. I LOVE YOU OMAR! She's wearing fur moon boots that I would like to buy imitations of and walk through a ski resort. Her purse looks like a Lama might have choked it up but I still like it. I am a slave to all things Chanel. I need help.

Donna Karan- I am reminded of my mother every time I see DKNY. My mother and her friend used to call it DINKY and it drove me nuts. Now I say it. It's happening, I'm turning into my mother. In this ad the model is wearing a ruffled very very high collared white blouse. She's wearing red lipstick and I am so noivous she's going to turn her head suddenly and get that lipstick allover that blouse. The things I worry about.. Anyway, the whole ad kind of reminds me of Isabella Rosselini in Death Becomes Her. I loved that film, but the ad? Meh.

Prada- Another one of my favourite companies. I like their simplicity and sometimes their over the top pieces. I just like them, a lot. On the right hand side of the ad the model is kissing some guy but oh so coyly holding up a clutch. I've been staring at this clutch for a while and all I can say is that it looks like an infestation of beetles. I'm sorry.

Michael Kors- Oh yes. The All American designer with his clean cut lines and expensive purses. I don't mind Kors. I just think I lean towards other designers more. Now, if he offered me any one of his pieces, I would wear Crocs for a week and if you knew me, that would be akin to selling my soul to Rupert Murdoch, and if you knew me, that would be like me giving up the internet. The Horror!! The ad is bright! Bright red and orange blur leaves in Central Park I wish I had a beret and knee high socks and long scarf and could talk about Dante and the globalisation of mass media and what not. The ad is two models about to kiss.. Once again a male model in a turtleneck and a woman in a camel coat. I get it. I need a camel coat. Get off my back.

Bulgari- I like this ad. Julianne Moore, nekkid, in jewels, holding a purse and lion cub. It makes perfect sense. I did the same thing this weekend. But instead of a purse it was a Billa bag and instead of a lion cub, a Snickers bar.

Juicy Couture- I cannot even begin to understand what is going on here. It's like Betsey Johnson and Sonia Rykiel went out, got drunk, hugged a lot and said things like "no man, you're the best" and then on the cab ride home, both puked. And then a magician's truck got in a crash and a bunch of bunnies jumped into purses and Tommy Hilfiger a la mid 90's lent an American printed denim vest to a male model in a hair band and then gypsies set up camp. Seriously. It's a mind f#ck and all I can think about is that these bunnies are pooping in these purses.

Well, that's it for now.. Stay tuned for tomorrow's post which will include Chloe, Hilfiger and Burberry's and much more. How exciting!

Happy Monday!